Every year, millions of couples come face to face with a serious illness. 一项新的诊断——不管它是 阿尔茨海默病、癌症、 心脏衰竭, kidney dysfunction or another major medical condition — is life-changing for both of you. Yet research reveals that the needs of the well spouse are often overlooked, just when he or she needs the strength to support a partner in new ways.

If you have suddenly been put into the role of caregiver, what should you do — and how can you stay strong while you do it? 精神病学家 苏珊·莱曼, director of the geriatric psychiatry clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital, 推荐以下策略.

倾听并分享时间.

不知道该说什么? 没关系. 向你的配偶保证你爱他并支持他. Listen if 你的 spouse wants to talk, or just spend quiet time together. 如果可能的话, keep sharing routines that have been part of 你的 life together — a TV movie and popcorn on Friday night, 早上喝咖啡，每天看报纸, 遛狗. After a serious diagnosis, you both may cherish these everyday traditions more than ever.

得到通知.

夫妻相处得更好，当他们, 比如他们的伴侣, 有准确的, 关于配偶状况的第一手信息, 治疗和需要. “While the internet may provide both general and specific information about the condition and treatment, it’s important to remember that reliability of medical information varies widely across internet sites,莱曼说. “Some websites may provide inaccurate or misleading information, 所以讨论你的担忧是很重要的, 包括你从其他来源读到的信息, 和你的医疗服务提供者.”

一起与从业者交谈.

Don’t sit in the waiting room or stay silent during medical appointments. “It is always helpful to have another set of ears listening to the clinician explain the treatment plan,莱曼说. “Knowing that time with the physician or nurse is limited, it is especially helpful to generate a list of questions and concerns together with 你的 partner before medical appointments.”

Prioritize 你的 questions — putting the most important ones first — to be sure you receive the information you need most at 你的 spouse’s next appointment. “If you are unable to ask all the questions on 你的 mind during an appointment, ask if you can schedule a follow-up phone time or send 你的 additional questions to the clinician or his/her assistant by email,莱曼补充道.

避开唠叨.

A major medical diagnosis can lead to doctor-recommended changes in 你的 spouse’s diet, 身体活动水平, 定期服药，需要休息. A well spouse’s support and encouragement can help a partner stay on track, but this new role can also trigger frustration on both sides. The well spouse may feel stressed; the ill spouse might not appreciate nagging.

“Sometimes it is helpful to enlist the support of the health care practitioner in prioritizing which changes are most important to implement and to remind 你的 partner that these changes are ones that the clinician is recommending,莱曼说. “This can often diminish the sense that the well spouse is trying to exert undue control, but rather is a partner with his/her mate and the health care practitioner.”

接受帮助.

砂锅菜和打扫房间的邀约是否不断涌来? Let well-wishers lighten 你的 load so you can focus on 你的 ill spouse and get needed rest and support for 你的self.

“Being a care partner can leave a person feeling overwhelmed and exhausted,莱曼说. “要求和医生谈谈, nurse or social worker about home services for which you may be eligible. Many insurance plans provide coverage for home nursing services and for occupational therapy and physical therapy, which can be very helpful in improving 你的 partner’s safety and function in the home.”

定义

护理: 援助家庭, friends and professionals provide to those who are elderly, 生病或不能自理的. 照顾包括购买食品杂货, 做饭, 清洁, 帮助洗澡或个人护理, 开车送人去看医生, 调剂药, 帮助别人上下床, 和更多的.

心力衰竭: When the heart cannot supply as much blood as the body needs, because it cannot fill completely or cannot pump with enough force. Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and heart valve problems can cause 心脏衰竭. 心力衰竭并不意味着心脏即将停止跳动. 药物治疗和生活方式的改变可以减轻症状.